Blue Pomegranate

Firnita

Firnita is a story enthusiast from Indonesia.

She writes a bit of this and that on different platforms. Her published books are Strings Attached (2020) and Shorter Stories (2021). She’s been trying to make more spoken word pieces lately.

Decision

You only have two choices: to stay or to leave. I won’t criticize you for the choice you’ve chosen. You left me, but you weren’t aware that I had a choice too. You chose yours before asking mine.

–from Strings Attached (2020)

***

The Fetus

I sleep like a fetus

because the first place

I felt that safe

is in my mother’s womb

I want to remember

what if felt like

not being suffocated

even when I’m drowning

in the liquids

In my mother’s womb,

all I remember was the warmth, the safety,

the classical music, the sudden and silly cravings,

the folic acid, the cobalamin,

the trying to have a balanced diet.

As I grew up, my friend started to have their own room

slept in their own bed or shared a bunk with their siblings

but my mother’s arms are still the safest crib

I’d like to sleep in for the whole night

her skin radiates the warmth

I’d like to remember for my whole life

I want to tuck in, in the same blanket as hers

as long as I want to, as long as she wants to

as long as I can, as long as we can

Her caress sends me to sleep,

to the sparkling stars,

to the cloud 9,

and over the moon

Her kiss shoos my nightmares away

hushes my own loud thoughts

She doesn’t sing lullabies

but that’s okay, because

she lets me sleep lightly

she helps me sleep tightly

I sleep like a fetus

because the last place

I felt that safe

is in my mother’s womb

and I am forever her baby

***

Familiar

what’s familiar are eight am alarm,

meeting in boxers, zoning out,

but remember my password

www.whatnow.com

wash your face, take a shower

do what you’re supposed to do:

s

u

r

v

i

v

e

what’s familiar are half covered faces,

and 1 million rupiah sterilized milk

missing products, misleading informations,

isused drugs, mistreated:

everything

is

misunderstood

www.vaccineconspiracy.com

what’s familiar is not immunity,

but stupidity. Welcome,

make yourself at home?

insert question marks here?

questions are familiar

where do you get that from?

how do you know that?

what to read in times like this?

who should we trust today?

whatsapp university.

what’s familiar are statistics:

numbers, percentage, outliers,

new broken records, identical running texts

same news, paraphrased, here we go

again: www. vacationiscancelled.com

what’s familiar are only memories

distant distance, numbing emotions

what’s familiar are dusty, buried six feet under

digging it won’t–

we can’t take it back

what’s familiar is long loneliness

brief grief that last

www.idontknowhowlong.com

what’s familiar are

all

new.

***

A Set from Shorter Stories (2021)

74. They were each other’s firsts–that’s why they don’t last.

75. They grow up outgrowing each other.

76. Growing up is inevitable, but also a choice.

77. They were minors, but they were major.

You can find Firnita on Instagram, Medium, and Twitter.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.