The Dance Between Love and the Miserable


In these few poems, I talk about me, who I am, and my journey with depression, anxiety, and as well as my journey in search of love. For a very, very long time, I have known that I was not like the rest of everyone else and that I think way different than most people my age. I’ve seen the worst of the worst, and instead, then let my anger out on people, I let it out on the pen and the paper. I’ve tried to go to a therapist, but they never help, my haven in mac, pen, and paper. I just want to say, check in on your friends, it’s a tough time. I don’t want to project my sadness onto you all, I want to bring this issue to light. Even the person who you least expect can be going through wars in there mind. Thank you. 

The Dance Between Love

First time I tried,
I was 10 years old,
I was enraged that I couldn’t have done more,
Once they left, I cuffed my hands around my throat and squeezed so hard I could
feel myself turning blue,
I knew what the consequence but I didn’t stop.
That’s when I knew I was irregular,
different from the pack,
they are laughing,
enjoying life,
And I’m here,
Writing a poem at 2 in the morning,
Tears running down,
Wondering when this fucking cloud will let me sleep,
My life is good,
I have great friends
My family,
I’m doing what’s right for me,
Looks like clear blue skies,
As I look to the end of the horizon,
I see a pitch black cloud,
soon as I’m ready to take off,
as quick as light,
the darkness is here.
Do it, it’ll be quick.
What would happen if this train flipped over right now,
Nobody will even notice you’re gone.
But then, my families heart.
My mother’s heart is so fragile,
I don’t want to bring sadness to the people I truly love,
I’m stuck on this island
For what seems like an eternity,
I don’t know how much longer I can take it,
But one day,
One day I’ll be happy,
One day I’ll wake up and not feel sad anymore
One day this fucking cloud will leave me alone.

The Miserable

If you could actually write what you’re thinking.
My name is
I’ve been punched in the face, lied to
Stabbed in the back
Cheated on
And Yet,
I still try
I put others before myself,
Because the only way I’m happy is if others are happy
I’ve been told I’m the one,
I’ve been told I’m great,
But yet they all still seem to leave.
My heart is as big as my brain,
When I love someone,
My heart overpowers the brain and puts an infinity sign next to the love meter.
I fall to quickly,
Love to hard,
I give you my whole world just so you know your special.
And yet i still seem to lose,
I am still alone.
My passion runs deep
I get to emotional,
My sadness overshadows most of my day.
But I still try.
I still wake up and think
Maybe today will be the day
Where I’m finally not alone,
Where I can look someone in those amazing dazzling eyes and say
You’re here to stay.
You’re here through the tsunamis,
The hurricanes,
The tanning days,
And we’re I can believe you,
And not doubt anything you say,
Where every word that comes out of that beautiful mouth is real,
Is true.

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